Emotional intelligence in a child – what it is and why it is important. Psychologist’s advice

Gordon Newfeld, a renowned Canadian psychologist and Ph.D., wrote in his book Keys to the Well-being of Children and Adolescents: “Emotions play a central role in human development and even in the growth of the brain itself. The emotional brain is the foundation of well-being. ” The study of emotional intelligence began in the days of Darwin. And now they say that without a developed emotional intelligence, you will not see success – neither in your career, nor in your personal life. They even came up with the term EQ – by analogy with IQ – and measure it when hiring.

Valeria Shimanskaya, child psychologist and author of one of the programs for the development of emotional intelligence “Academy of Monsiks”, helped us figure out what kind of intelligence it is, why it should be developed and how to do it.

1. What is emotional intelligence?

While still in the mother’s belly, the baby is already able to experience emotions: the mood and feelings of the mother are transmitted to him. Therefore, the lifestyle and emotional background during pregnancy affect the formation of the baby’s temperament. With the birth of a person, the emotional flow increases thousands of times, often changing during the day: the baby either smiles and rejoices, then stomps his feet and bursts into tears. The child learns to interact with feelings – their own and those around them. The acquired experience forms emotional intelligence – knowledge about emotions, the ability to be aware of and control them, to distinguish the intentions of others and adequately respond to them.

2. Why is this important?

Firstly, EQ is responsible for the psychological comfort of a person, for a life without internal conflicts. This is a whole chain: first, the child learns to understand his behavior and his own reactions to different situations, then accept his emotions, and then manage them and respect his own desires and aspirations.

Secondly, all this will allow you to make decisions consciously and calmly. In particular, choose the field of activity that a person really likes.

Third, people with developed emotional intelligence interact effectively with other people. After all, they understand the intentions of others and the motives of their actions, respond adequately to the behavior of others, are capable of compassion and empathy.

Here is the key to a successful career and personal harmony.

3. How to raise the EQ?

Children who have developed emotional intelligence find it much easier to go through age crises and adapt to a new team, in a new environment. You can deal with the development of the baby yourself, or you can entrust this business to specialized centers. We will suggest some simple home remedies.

Talk out to your child the emotions they are feeling. Parents usually name the baby objects with which he interacts or which he sees, but almost never tell him about the feelings he is experiencing. Say: “You were upset that we did not buy this toy”, “You were delighted when you saw dad,” “You were surprised when guests came.”

As the child grows up, ask a question about how he is feeling, paying attention to his facial expressions or changes in the body. For example: “You knit your brows. What are you feeling now?” If the child cannot immediately answer the question, try to direct him: “Maybe your emotion is similar to anger? Or is it still an insult? “

Books, cartoons and movies can also help develop emotional intelligence. You just need to talk to the child. Discuss what you saw or read: reflect with your child about the mood of the characters, the motives of their actions, why they behaved that way.

Talk openly about your own emotions – parents, like all people in the world, can get angry, upset, offended.

Create fairy tales for the child or together with him, in which the heroes learn to cope with difficulties by controlling their emotions: they overcome fear, embarrassment, and learn from their grievances. In fairy tales, you can play stories from the life of a child and family.

Comfort your child and let him comfort you. When calming your baby, do not shift his attention, but help him become aware of the emotion by naming it. Talk about how he will cope and soon he will be in a good mood again.

Consult with experts. You don’t have to go to a psychologist for this. All questions can be asked free of charge: twice a month Valeria Shimanskaya and other specialists from the Monsik Academy advise parents on free webinars. Conversations are held on the website www.tiji.ru – this is the channel’s portal for preschoolers. You need to register in the “Parents” section, and you will be sent a link to the live broadcast of the webinar. In addition, previous conversations can be viewed in the recording there.