There are mothers who intend to sit with the child until the last. And our regular author and mother of a five-year-old son, Lyubov Vysotskaya, tells why she wants to go back to work.
– Here’s a face and at least three years in the office will not appear, – friend Svetka lovingly strokes her rounded belly. – Well, it’s enough. Has worked out. I will be with the baby as long as possible.
I nod in agreement: mom is next to her in the first two years of life – this is a calm baby, and harmonious relationships, and correct development, and the opportunity to see the first steps, hear the first words. All in all, don’t miss the key points.
“I’ll definitely sit out for three years,” Sveta continues. “Or maybe I’ll quit altogether. Home is best.
I don’t argue with her. But, having spent not a year, not two, but six whole years on maternity leave, I can say for myself: if it were not for certain circumstances, with which it is still difficult for me to argue, I would not just go to the office – I would run, dropping my slippers.
No, I’m not going to make a stunning career now (although, maybe a little later, and yes). I’m definitely not one of those who are ready to stand at the bench until midnight, pushing my darling child onto the nurses. But I am sure that a full working day is a must. And not only to me, but also to my child. And that’s why.
1. I want to talk
I can type quickly. Very fast. Sometimes I feel like I type faster than I speak. Because 90 percent of my communication is virtual. Social networks, Skype, messengers are my friends, colleagues and everyone else. In real life, my main interlocutors are my husband, mother, mother-in-law and son. Basically, of course, the son. And so far I can not discuss everything I want with him. He’s not ready to talk about politics yet, and I’m not ready to talk about the new season of Paw Patrol. The decree has worn out the “brain shutdown” stamp in the decree, but this is, alas, the truth. I’ve gone wild. Meeting up with girlfriends on weekends will not save the “father of Russian democracy.” Will save the exit to live work.
2. I want to be missed
– Mom, dad will come soon, – Timofey starts walking in circles in front of the door two hours before the end of the working day.
– Daddy! – the son runs ahead of everyone to the door, meeting her husband from work.
– Well, when will it be … – waits impatiently for my father to have supper.
From the outside, it may seem that the third mother here is superfluous. Of course it is not. But against the background of the father, who exists from Monday to Friday in the child’s life for two hours a day, the mother clearly pales. Moreover, you understand who, in this situation, scolds and educates more. So it turns out that dad is a holiday, and mom is a routine. The child treats her care more selfishly, as if something is due. I don’t think this is correct.
To be honest, I myself would not hurt to miss the child properly. Maybe to look at him with a slightly different, fresh look. And a little from the side to see how he grows up. And when he is next to you almost inseparable, he always seems like a crumb.
3. I want to earn
On maternity leave I left a decent position and a decent salary. Our income with my spouse was quite comparable. I started working part-time when Timofey was 10 months old. But the amount I can earn from home is ridiculous compared to what it used to be and what it could be now.
Fortunately, the family does not need money at the moment. Nevertheless, without my own salary, I feel uncomfortable and partly even somewhere unprotected. I feel calmer when I understand: if something happens, I can take responsibility for the family.
But even if I don’t think about the bad, I, for example, feel uncomfortable taking money from my husband’s salary to give him a gift.
4. I want my son to develop
Last year, British scientists found that the skills of children of working mothers who are forced to attend kindergarten are 5-10 percent higher than those who tried to teach everything at home. Moreover, even grandparents in this regard influence grandchildren more positively than parents. Either they entertain more actively, or they do more.
By the way, a similar phenomenon has probably been noted by most mothers more than once. And including me. Children are much more active and more willing to do something new with a stranger than with mom and dad, to whom they are accustomed and which you can twirl as you want.