how to teach a child to put things in order

How to explain to a child that your belongings need to be put away? How not to turn the cleaning process into a duty and punishment? healthy-food-near-me.com is looking for answers to these questions from parents and psychologists.

There are countless stereotypes about parenting. The most common, perhaps, “teach by example!” Well yes! No matter how it is! If my children learned, watching me run from morning to night with a mop or vacuum cleaner, it would be possible to open a family cleaning company.

In the meantime, I look like a striped raccoon, and the rest of my family, like ostriches, are burying their noses in their gadgets.

But let’s analyze. Do you really want the kids to help us clean? Or is it much easier to do everything yourself?

If you like the second option, then do it and don’t complain. And there is no need to demand a medal “for military merit”. If you are determined to bring option number 1 to life, our tips are here to help you!

Pay attention to the little things. Children of 7 years old are happy to help set the table. But on their own they “do not see” that there are not enough instruments or napkins are out. We need to tell them what their help is, what needs to be done. You can take a picture of a beautifully served table before dinner. Next time, the daughter can “check” the photograph: does everyone have glasses for water? Is there a bread plate? Etc. This is for the older ones.

For toddlers, putting toys in a box should be a routine action. How to brush your teeth at night or wash your hands before eating. Create your own algorithms and strictly adhere to them with your child. For example, “I painted – removed the paints – washed my hands – went to dinner.” Or “I came from a walk – I hung up my jacket – I took off my shoes – I washed my hands – I had dinner.” At first, you will have to control every action until it becomes automatic. Remind, speak out loud, do not be distracted by your business or talking on the phone. And of course, you need to make sure that the baby is comfortable performing these actions.

But to monitor the condition of clothes and shoes is still your responsibility. It is hardly worth “acquainting” a preschooler with a washing machine. But everything has its time. For example, a teenage son, returning from a pool or gym, may well load the machine on his own and rinse his sports clothes.

Just don’t take these actions for granted. Even teenagers are offended when parents reprimand them for their mistakes and “do not notice” their efforts. Express your approval, for example, “Oh! Yes, you’ve already hung up the laundry from the typewriter! Well done!” Let the child know that his work has been noticed and appreciated.

Children over 3 years old can be invited to play cleaning. It turns out there are tons of these games out there.

“Fanta” – the name of the action is written on pieces of paper: “vacuum”, “water the flowers” and so on. If the child still does not know how to read – glue pictures: “vacuum cleaner”, “watering can”. Children pull out the folded leaves from the “magic bag” and perform the action.

“Lottery” – the principle is the same as in the game of forfeits. If the child is older than 7, instead of an action, you can write a place: “entrance hall”, “your room”, “wardrobe” – according to the previously agreed scheme, the order is established in the place that is received. For clarity, the diagram can be attached in place. The child must clearly know what needs to be done in each zone. For example, in the hallway, hang keys on special hooks, put scarves and hats on a shelf or in a basket, close dried umbrellas, remove bags from the floor, clean shoes, wipe the floor or vacuum. Explain the order in which these steps should be performed. For example, move from top to bottom and so on.

“Spell”. The child stands in the middle of the room, closes his eyes and stretches out his hand. Slowly spinning, pronounces a “spell”. For example, “let beauty be in my house!” Having said the last word, he stops and starts cleaning from where the hand points. You can compose “spells” yourself by rhyming the name, the name of your favorite toy, or something else personal. Turn on your imagination!

“Days of the week”. This is a kind of ritual. Every day has its own business! Formulate 5 tasks (by day of the week) and have the child do it for 5-10 minutes at a strictly defined time. You can hang the list next to your daily routine. For example, “Tuesday – dust collector” – you need to wipe the dust, “Wednesday – long live the water!” – watering flowers and so on.

Think over a reward system for each completed task. Use your favorite yogurt, juice, or candy. Remember to praise and thank your child.

Well, the longest game, of course “Treasure hunt”. This is the so-called “spring cleaning”, as a result of which the child finds, for example, movie tickets for the weekend, a new book or a wi-fi password envelope. You can also agree on a certain amount of pocket money. But, as a rule, psychologists do not advise reducing household help to commodity-money relations. We have to do something in this life simply because we have to. Or do you pay yourself to clean?

If the child is calm, you can read to him while he puts away his toys or put on a disc with fairy tales. Teens will love the idea of ​​doing the cleaning while listening to music. If loud music bothers other family members, you can use wireless headphones.

Psychologists advise to make it clear to the child that he is the master of his things. This means that he himself is responsible for them. This is what experienced mothers tell us.

Alina, 37 years:

When my son was between 4 and 6 years old, I took him twice a week to train at a tennis club. Training took place early in the morning. Then I “threw” my little son into kindergarten, and rushed to work myself. The boy attended tennis with great pleasure. I was glad of that. But for me morning is always a bustle and a rush. A racket and a backpack with a sports uniform always hung in the hallway in the evening. But once it happened that, having already driven up to the sports complex, we found … Oh, horror! In general, the backpack remained at home in the hallway! It was pointless to return home through morning traffic jams. And we missed training. The son even burst into tears of frustration. But. We wiped away our tears. And we talked. I calmly tried to explain to the boy that everyone has their own things. And everyone should be responsible for their own things. The son realized that since he is engaged in tennis, then he is also responsible for the racket and sports uniform. Since then, we have never missed a workout, never forgot something in the locker room or at home. That incident served as a lesson and was remembered, probably, for the rest of my life.

Victoria, 33 years old:

I have two children. The son is 9, and the daughter is 3 years old. And so, we decided to get a dog. And it began! As in a children’s poem: “And that’s why the puppy ruined everything he could!” Our Rocky gnawed upholstered furniture, ruffled children’s toys, got to books. And one morning we found our daughter’s half-eaten boot. Rocky slept with him on the rug. And we had to get ready for the kindergarten! It was impossible to scold the puppy. He was small and very affectionate and playful. We loved him very much. And then at the family council we decided: “The puppy is not to blame. The one who did not put his things away on time is to blame! ” And life somehow gradually returned to normal. Children began to pay attention to their belongings, to put them in wardrobes. To keep the dog safe. Even the little one stopped throwing toys around. The children felt responsible for their things. And they stopped whining and complaining about the dog. The puppy, by the way, also quickly matured. His teeth changed and he stopped spoiling things. But he taught us to order! Here’s a story.

One of the mottos of the Fly Lady movement is: “Junk cannot be put in order, you can only get rid of it.” Therefore, the main mantra is: throw out 27 unnecessary things.

“When I, imbued with the spirit of this system, went into the nursery and enthusiastically exclaimed:“ And now, children, we have a new game! Boogie 27! We need to collect and discard 27 unnecessary items as soon as possible! ” The older child looked at me and said seriously: “It seems that my mother has read some garbage again!” – says Valentina.

Throwing something away (even “junk”) is a bad idea for a child. Children begin to realize themselves as little “owners”. They are peculiar to hoarding. Therefore, kids are reluctant to part even with broken toys and torn beads. And teenagers can treasure a children’s collection of cars or bring the amount of clothes to the point of absurdity. All attempts to send something to the trash bin are perceived by them as an encroachment on their property. But rules can and should be established. If the toy is broken, you need to fix it. Cover the book. Transfer jewelry to a new thread. And set a limit on the onslaught of “crazy” shopping. This is how we teach children to be frugal.

In the “fly lady” system there is also something that children will gladly adopt. For example, timer cleaning. “The girls themselves were surprised when they saw How long they managed to do in 10 minutes! – says Irina, mother of Lena and Dasha. – Now we turn on the timer every evening to tidy up the nursery, put the games in place, pack up the bags for tomorrow and make the beds. Girls compete with each other to see who is faster. “

Another positive aspect of this system is the concept of “routine”. Every morning or evening, you do certain things. For example, before going to bed, prepare your clothes for the next day, clean your shoes. And then in the morning you will not have to do it in a hurry. For children, such a “mood for tomorrow” will only benefit.

Kondo Mari teaches to “thank” things that have served their time and send them “on vacation”. Agree, in the eyes of children it looks more humane than just throwing it away.

In order to keep your home in order according to the Kondo Mari method, you do not need any fixtures. You don’t have to buy an insane amount of containers, baskets and boxes. After washing and ironing, Kondo Marie proposes to put things in a special way in shoe boxes or simply “put” on the shelves of a dresser or wardrobe. The advantages over traditional “stacks” of laundry are obvious. All things are in plain sight, they are easy to get without disturbing the order. Shoeboxes cost nothing. They can be “refined” by dragging them with a cloth, gift paper or painting them in your favorite color.

“The fact that the Kondo Marie method has taken root in our country is a surprise to me,” says Zhanna. – Because of my husband’s work, we often have to move from city to city. We realized that we don’t want to transport our furniture every six months, and it makes no sense to buy it every time. Therefore, we are content with what we have in our rented apartments. And it was here that shoe boxes helped us out! Our 10-year-old daughter even clapped her hands with delight when she saw her T-shirts neatly folded in a box. She liked this idea so much that she immediately organized “her own corner” and happily puts things in place. I am pleased. Nothing is lost, not forgotten in the far corners of the cabinets. It has become much easier to maintain order and prepare for the next move. “

1. Cleaning should be part of the daily and weekly routine. For the child, cleaning should not be a “surprise” or should be done according to the mood of the mother. Cleaning is a ritual.

2. Make a clear list of actions. You can call it whatever you like: “algorithm” or “routine”. But the child should be clear about the meaning and sequence of all manipulations.

3. Cleaning doesn’t have to be boring. Whether you choose a playful form or just turn on funny music while cleaning – it’s up to you with your child.

4. Motivate. Do not criticize for shortcomings and do not redo for the child.

5. Share responsibility. Let the child feel like the master of his things.

6. Use positive reinforcement. Praise and thank your children!