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If the child does not obey
If the child does not want to obey, it is quite possible to bring him to his senses. At the same time, you do not need to grab the belt or keep the child in a shameful corner. With the right approach, the problem of disobedience can be solved in humane ways.
What Causes Child Disobedience
By disobedience, children express their protest against the negative facts of reality. To succeed in parenting, you need to find out the reason for their discontent.
If a child does not obey, he has a reason.
The reasons for child disobedience include:
Age crisis. They can explain why a three-year-old child does not obey, which is why a six-year-old behaves badly. Age-related changes are caused by the rebellion of adolescents. Crisis phenomena are usually provoked by a protest against parental restrictions in the knowledge of the world around them.
Excessive requirements. Constant prohibitions cause rebellion in a person at any age. Restrictions must be reasonable and logical.
Explain to your child why you shouldn’t play with matches or play with a power outlet, but do not forbid him to be active, laugh, run and sing.
Inconsistency in parenting behavior. Your mood should not affect punishment or reward. Only the actions of the child are important here. It is also necessary for both parents to be consistent in decisions and statements. If dad says “you can” and mom says “you can’t,” the child gets lost and shows confusion with pranks.
Complete absence of prohibitions. If there is no control, then everything is possible. Indulging a baby’s whims leads to a feeling of permissiveness and, as a result, spoiledness and disobedience.
Failure to keep promises. If you have promised something to your child, be it reward or punishment, follow through. Otherwise, the child will stop believing you and will ignore all parental words. Why obey if you are deceived anyway?
Injustice. Those parents who do not listen to the arguments of the child will receive disrespect in return.
Family conflicts. Disobedience children can react to unstable psychological conditions in the family and lack of attention.
The divorce of the parents is a great stress for the child. He feels lost, does not know what to do in such a situation. It is important to explain that both parents love him and that the conflict is not the child’s fault. Perhaps in a difficult situation it is worth seeking help from a psychologist.
What to do if the child does not obey
Unfortunately, one cannot do without punishment in raising a child. But they should only be for serious misconduct. And good behavior should be rewarded more often than punished.
You cannot beat a child, no matter what he does. Physical punishment leads to the fact that children begin to take out resentment on the weak: toddlers or animals, spoil furniture or toys. Punishment by work or study is also unacceptable. After all, then this activity will turn from an interesting activity into an unpleasant one. This will dramatically affect the assessments of your child.
How, then, to wean children from unseemly acts:
- Use pleasure limiters. For a serious offense, you can deprive the child of sweets, cycling, playing on the computer.
- Express complaints in a calm tone. Explain to your child why you are upset about his behavior, do not be shy about your feelings. But shouting or calling the offender is not worth it – this will cause the opposite effect.
- If the child does not listen to your words, introduce a warning system. “The first time is forgiven, the second is forbidden.” The penalty must follow the third signal without fail.
- Discard the “not” particle. The psyche of children does not perceive phrases with a negative meaning.
You need to respond to hysteria or whims in a calm tone and in no case give up your position. The attention of the smallest can be switched to a doll, a car, a bird outside the window.
The most important cure for disobedience is respect for the child’s opinion. Give your children more time and attention, support their ideas, and become a good friend, not an evil supervisor. Then you will know about all the problems of the child and will be able to prevent possible troubles.