In Yekaterinburg, a psychologist forced a boy to wash his mouth with soap for swearing: details

In Yekaterinburg, during a children’s camp at the Yeltsin Center, a visitor in the women’s toilet saw a terrible picture: a psychologist was washing a child’s mouth with soap. The boy was sobbing, and foam came out of his mouth.

Lego Camp is open during Spring Break. However, at one of the classes there was an incident that “blew up” the Internet. The journalist Olga Tatarnikova, a witness to the event, wrote about him on Facebook:

“Can a caregiver force a child to wash their mouth with soap and water? I dont know. But when I looked at the crying boy with foam at the mouth now, my heart was bleeding. A teacher stood next to him and said that the swear word, like a lump of dung, must be washed off. The boy roared, said that he had already laundered, and she made her repeat the procedure again. “

The victim was 8-year-old Sasha. Woman`s Day asked psychologists to comment on the participants in the unpleasant story.

The boy’s mother Olga spoke very dryly:

– The incident is over.

In the spring break, the guys were engaged in the “Lego camp”

Elena Volkova, representative of the Yeltsin Center:

– Yes, such a situation took place. The boy who studied at our “Lego camp” used foul language for several days. They could not influence him with words, so teacher Olga Amelyanenko, who is not an employee of the Yeltsin Center, escorted the boy to the bathroom and asked him to wash his face and lips with soap. They explained to him that this was in order to “wash off” the swear words and not do it again.

But we have already had a conversation with the teacher, asked not to practice this in our walls. Of course, we talked to the boy’s mother, who confirmed that her son swears a lot. And she is not offended by the teacher, because she hopes that this will help the guy not to use bad language, because the mother herself cannot cope with it. After the incident, he came to the group and continued his studies. When we asked him what he thought about this situation, his first question was: “What situation?” The boy does not hold any grudge against Olga.

Olga Amelyanenko is the same psychologist… She has a completely different version of what happened. She told Woman`s Day that the situation described by the journalist was taken out of context – the boy did not cry or was hysterical. Olga has a good relationship with both her mother and Sasha:

We have trainings for 6 to 11 years old, where we analyze different human qualities: kindness, courage, honor, confidence. Classes are held during the children’s holidays. Today was the third day. And during these three days a wonderful boy comes to me who speaks foul language. Not loudly and publicly, but surreptitiously. So he tries to assert himself.

Today he wrote a swear word on a piece of paper and began to show it to other children. I brought it out and began to explain that obscene words are dirty words that “litter” speech, have a bad effect on a person – you can even get infected (I am a fairy tale therapist, therefore I work through a metaphor). I added that this is so serious that even I can get infected, because I heard these words.

Our conversation sounded something like this: “Do you live in a decent society?” – “Yes, decent.” – “Are you a decent boy?” – “Yes!” – “And decent boys in a decent society should not swear.”

We went to the bathroom and agreed that we would thoroughly wash our hands with soap, then our face. And even with a small amount of foam we will wash away the “dirt” from the tongue.

The boy did not cry, he did not have tantrums – this is the first time I hear this from you. Of course, he was not happy that he was caught swearing, and now he needs to “wash himself off”. But if it were with a smile, then he would not have learned a lesson from history. And so he listened to me, agreed and did everything himself. After that he asked me not to tell anyone about this. And I am very sorry that now I have to break my oath.

After this incident, we returned to the group together, the child turned to me, we built figures and drew together. We remained friends with him. The boy is wonderful, and he has a lovely mother. We talked with her, and she admitted that they have the same problem at school, and she hopes that my method will help.

Soap is one method. If someone doesn’t like soap, use a toothpaste and brush. The main thing is to remain a friend to the child, to be on his side. Show that you do not scold him, but help. Then your bond will only grow stronger.

Woman`s Day asked two more child psychologists to comment on the situation.

Psychologist Galina Zaripova:

I assess the situation described in the media – we do not know what actually happened there. The fact that this is unlawful – for sure! We have an Administrative Code that evaluates this act as emotional and physical abuse if the child really cried and asked to stop.

This is a rather ineffective method to wean a boy from swearing. Everything that an 8-year-old child will take out from the experience that happened: “With this person, you can’t swear, otherwise I’ll get it.” If the mother herself tried to talk with the child, but this did not help, then the question arises about the nature of the conversation. Usually, such conversations are of a notational nature, when an adult, from his position, tries to explain to a small person how he needs to live. And in child psychology there is a simple rule – you need to offer something in return. Why does the child use foul language – repeats someone else’s behavior? Expresses anger or joy? Once this is clear, teach your child to express the right emotions correctly. Maybe this is his way of communication, and he doesn’t know how to do it in another way.

It would also be helpful to have a conversation with other children from this camp. You need to ask them how they feel about the fact that there is a person among them who swears, perhaps this would affect the boy. And, of course, at the very beginning, in the camp, they had to explain the rules of conduct, no matter how banal they were.

Psychologist Natella Kolobova:

It seems that the female witness (Olga Tatarnikova) was most injured in this situation. We do not know what can and cannot hurt a child. One and the same situation for one will be “horrible what a trauma”, and he will go to psychotherapists with it all his life. Another of the same situation will come out calmly, dusting himself off. I know one thing for sure: in difficult situations, there must be a reliable adequate adult nearby who will be able to: explain this situation; contain (that is, withstand the strong feelings of the child, live them with him); support. The boy, who regularly breaks the general rules, thus “requests” the presence of a strong adult who will set him strict boundaries, rules and requirements, but on whom he can rely. Mom with this, apparently, is not very good at it. Therefore, such a role can be played by a psychologist, teacher, coach.

Therefore, here the psychologist acted as a mouthpiece for social norms. Although, in her place, I would not force you to wash your mouth with soap. Brr … I would have come up with something else, for example, would have introduced a system of penalties for mate in the group.

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