I remember, in the final class, the physics teacher told us: “Do not pass the exams, you will go to the vocational school for hairdressers.” And nothing that the salary of the simplest hairdresser is two or three times more than hers. But then we were hammered into our heads that only losers go to hairdressers. Therefore, not passing the exam meant giving up your life.
By the way, several of my classmates, having studied to be economists, end up making a living with manicure. No, I am not calling for sabotaging higher education. But too much pressure is exerted on the graduates because of him. And above all in schools.
My friend’s daughter is finishing 11th grade this year. This is a very intelligent, talented girl. He is fond of computer science, does not bring triples in his diary. But even she is worried that she will not pass the exam.
“I’m afraid that I will not do, that I will not live up to your hopes,” she says to her mother. “I’m afraid I’ll let you down.”
Of course, a friend is trying to calm her daughter down, but this is difficult, because then the girl goes to school, and there, because of the Unified State Exam, there is real hysteria.
– Every spring, among adolescents aged 16-17, the number of suicide attempts is growing sharply. There are also lethal outcomes, – says psychologist Larisa Surkova. – Everyone knows the reason: “passed before the exam.” Happy is the person for whom these “three funny letters” mean nothing.
How to calm your child down before the exam
1. If the result of the exam is important to you, then you need to prepare your child at least a couple of years in advance.
2. Don’t humiliate your child. Do not use the phrases “if you don’t pass it – don’t come home”, “if you fail the exam, I won’t let you go home”. Once I heard a confession from my mother with the phrase “he is no longer my son, I am ashamed of him.” Never say that!
3. Monitor your child. If he eats little, is silent, does not talk to you, withdraws into himself, does not sleep well – this is a reason to sound the alarm.
4. Talk to your child constantly. Make plans for his future. Is he going to go to university. What to expect from life.
5. Talk to him about more than just your studies. Sometimes, at my request, parents keep communication diaries. There all phrases come down to the question: “What’s in school?”
6. In any suspicious situations, speak frankly. Talk about your feelings, that you love him and that he is very important to you. Talk to your child about the value of life. If you see suspicious symptoms, urgently bring to a psychologist, lock the houses, even compulsory treatment is fine.
7. Share your experiences. About the experience of passing exams, about their failures.
8. Glycine and Magne B6 have not bothered anyone yet. The course of admission for 1-2 months will bring the child’s nerves back to normal.
9. Get ready together! When my daughter Masha and I were preparing for the USE in literature, I forgot the thought “this is complete nonsense.” Then only the candidate’s minimum in philosophy was worse.
10. Studying is important, but friends, family, life and health are priceless. Have a conversation once about the importance of life. Tell us that there are things much more terrible than failing on the exam. Give specific examples.
11. Provide maximum support to your child, as children are often put under a lot of pressure at school.