No, we are doing better than in the countries of the East, where selective abortion is practiced – a female fetus is often doomed. But the traditions of raising girls, according to psychologists, are long and hopelessly outdated.
Feminism in modern society has long become a curse. Many interpret it as the desire of women to carry sleepers and walk with unshaven legs. And they do not remember at all that feminism is a movement of women for equal rights with men. The right to the same salary. The right not to hear comments like “a woman driving is like a monkey with a grenade.” And even replicas, implying that the car enthusiast did not earn the car herself, but exchanged it for some services of a physiological nature.
It turns out that instead of equality, we see a completely different phenomenon – misogyny. That is, hatred of a woman simply because she is a woman. And the most terrible manifestation of it, according to psychologists, is internal misogyny. That is, the hatred of women towards women.
A huge problem, according to psychotherapist Elena Tryakina, is that sexism, gender discrimination, is embedded in the heads of women and is transmitted by them from generation to generation. Mom instills misogyny in her daughter. And so on ad infinitum.
“I remember when I first encountered this phenomenon. One of my clients said that her friends, who have sons, began to be very aggressive and accusatory towards her daughter when her boyfriend committed suicide, ”Elena Tryakina gives an example.
A specialist with twenty years of experience admitted that she was simply amazed – she herself did not have separate requirements for men and women.
“After all, everyone heard how the girl, in response to her roar and the desire to take off the offender’s head, said: ‘You are a girl! You have to be soft. Give in. ” We do not recognize the girl’s right to be offended, to her own feelings. We do not teach her to express anger and protest in a civilized manner, but we teach sexism, ”says Elena Tryakina.
This educational tradition is rooted in a patriarchal society. Then the man was in charge, and the woman was completely dependent on him. Now there are no grounds for such a way of life – neither social, nor economic, nor everyday. There are no grounds, but “you’re a girl” is. Girls are taught to be gentle, to yield, sacrifice in the behavior of girls and girls is considered the norm.
“The girl is taught that the most important thing in their life is relationships. Neither her success, nor education, nor self-realization, nor career, nor money matters. This is all secondary, ”the psychotherapist believes.
The girl is certainly ordered to get married. Going to medical? You are crazy? There are some girls, where are you going to look for your husband? Responsibility for marriage is only with girls. It turns out that parents in their daughters see not a person, but a kind of service potential – for some abstract man or for themselves. This is about the notorious “glass of water”.
“To marry for convenience is not shameful, but good and even clever. Lack of love is the norm. The brains are cold, which means that it is easier to manipulate a man, – Elena Tryakina describes the concept of upbringing. – It turns out that we are broadcasting the idea that a woman’s existence is normal – parasitic, mercantile and dependent. The idea of learned helplessness and infantilism. When mom is beautiful and dad is working. In fact, these are latent forms of prostitution, which are considered an absolute norm. “
An independent, successful, earning woman is considered unhappy and unlucky if she is not married. Ridiculous? It’s ridiculous.
“We need to grow female self-awareness. That is what is needed, not all these courses of Vedic wives and other obscurantism, ”the psychologist concludes.
Elena Tryakina was watched by more than a quarter of a million people. A discussion unfolded in the comments. Some said that there was no point in sowing thoughts of self-sufficiency in women’s heads: “Children need to be dealt with”. But the overwhelming majority agreed with the psychologist. Because they immediately recognized the mechanisms of “you are girls” in their own upbringing. What do you say?