The mother of six children compiled 10 rules that will help bring up a worthy person.
Blogger Erin Spencer has rightfully earned the title of “professional parent”. While her husband is at work, she is raising six children alone. She also manages to write columns with advice for young mothers. However, Erin admits that in the battle for the title “ideal mother” and she has defeats.
“Say hello to the new generation of ungrateful egotists! Erin says. “A couple of years ago I realized that I myself am raising the same ones.”
It was Christmas Eve when Erin was planning the holiday budget, wondering where to save an extra dollar for gifts for the kids.
“The spirit of Christmas was in the air, and I sat up to my throat in bills, deciding which organ to sell to me to earn gifts,” says a mother with many children. “And suddenly an older child comes up to me and says:“ Mom, I need new sneakers, ”and this despite the fact that we bought the last pair for him five months ago.”
Politely and calmly, Erin explained to her son that his parents were not able to constantly buy him expensive branded shoes.
“His reaction made me wonder: where did I screw up as a parent? Erin writes. “The son sighed dramatically and went into the regime of a typical ungrateful egoist.”
“You’re trying to make life difficult for me all the time! – the boy was indignant. – Do you want everyone to laugh at me ?! I hate it all! I’m not going to wear stupid Velcro sneakers! “
“What makes you think that they will buy you Velcro sneakers? Are you two years old, or maybe 82? ” – the teen’s mother was indignant.
“This scene made me rethink my behavior as a parent,” says the blogger. – I look around and see the boys in tight jeans, sipping lattes, which even the door in front of you will not hold, and even more so will not offer to carry heavy bags. Let what I say next will officially transfer me to the rank of old pepper shakers, but young people these days are absolutely ill-mannered! “
After the scene put on by Erin’s son, she decided to change her family’s lifestyle. Here are her rules, which, as the blogger is sure, will help young parents raise a worthy person.
1. Stop giving your children choices and asking for help. YOU carried it around for nine months, YOU pay the bills, which means YOU set the rules and tell them what to do. If you want to give your child a choice, let him choose: either he will do as you say, or he will not be good.
2. Stop driving yourself into debt trying to buy your child something better from the latest collection.
3. Get the kids to work on what they want. A little work hasn’t hurt anyone yet.
4. Teach them the manners: say please, thank you, open and hold doors for others. If you are raising your son, go on a date with him and ask him to pay for lunch using the money he earned on the advice in the third paragraph. No matter what anyone says, such male behavior will never go out of fashion.
5. Visit a homeless shelter together or even volunteer there. Let the child understand what the phrase “living badly” really means.
6. When buying gifts, follow four rules. Give something that: 1) they want; 2) they need; 3) they will be worn; 4) they will read.
7. Better yet, to instill in children the true meaning of the holidays. Teach them to give, help to understand that it is much more fun than receiving. I never could understand why Jesus has birthday, but we receive gifts?
8. Visit with the child crippled soldiers, veterans, orphanage, after all. Show what real selflessness is.
9. Teach them to understand the difference between quality and quantity.
10. Teach them to extend their love and mercy to those around them. Teach your children to love each other, let them feel the consequences of their choices, and they will grow up to be good people.
Psychologist of the children’s clinic “CM-Doctor” in Maryina Roshcha
When you understand that a child, by his words or actions, inspires you with guilt, emotionally blackmails (“you don’t love me!”) Or throws tantrums, then you have a little manipulator. This is primarily the fault of the parents. They failed to correctly build a family hierarchy, to be principled in those issues in which it is necessary. And a child who goes through age crises one by one feels this weakness perfectly – gradually he achieves a situation for himself when everyone owes him, but he does not owe anyone.
The manipulator’s tricks are not limited to tantrums and blackmail. He may even get sick, and quite sincerely – psychosomatics works in such a way that the child gets sick in order to get parental attention. A kid can learn to flatter masterly – this happens when in a family mom and dad play the role of good and bad police officers. Or maybe even intimidate, threatening to leave home or do something to yourself.
In such cases, only your own willpower helps: you need to keep the defense, not succumbing to provocations. But at the same time, the child should receive sufficient quality attention so that he does not feel unfairly deprived and offended.
To learn how to XNUMX% accurately recognize a small manipulator, read on