The question was asked by serious researchers. And now everything is clear! But experts warned that for everything to work, praise doesn’t have to be a formality. Children are very sensitive to falsehood.
Parents are different. Democratic and authoritarian, hyper-caring and lazy. But surely everyone is sure that children need to be praised. But how not to overpraise? Otherwise, he will become arrogant, relax … This question was asked by real experts, scientists from the University of de Montfort in Great Britain.
Experts undertook a serious study that covered 38 families with children from two to four years old. Parents were asked to fill out questionnaires where they answered questions about the behavior and well-being of their children. It turned out that moms and dads who praise their children for good behavior five times a day have happy children. They are much less likely to have symptoms of hyperactivity and decreased attention. Moreover, the scientists noted that “vaunted” children are more stable emotionally and much easier to contact others. Their socialization is going with a bang!
Then the scientists went further. They made a schedule for the parents when and how to praise the child. Moms and dads had to tell the baby how great he is, and then record changes in his behavior and relationships with family and peers. Four weeks later, all parents, without exception, noted that the child became calmer, his behavior changed for the better, and in general the baby looks happier than before. It turns out that harshness is harmful to children? At least unnecessary – for sure.
“A child behaves better and feels better because positive actions are rewarded with praise,” says Sue Westwood, senior lecturer at de Montfort University.
So what happens? Children need tactile contact for happiness – this has long been proven. But emotional strokes, it turns out, are no less important.
Moreover, the researchers stipulate that five times is a convention, taken almost from the ceiling, from the recommendation to eat five servings of vegetables and fruits a day.
– You can praise more or less often. But children need to hear warm words regularly for several weeks or months, not a day or two, says Carol Sutton, one of the researchers.
However, every woman knows that regularity is important in any business.
– We notice a child much more often when he screams than when he quietly reads a book. Therefore, it is important to “catch” these moments, to praise the baby for good behavior in order to model it in the future. You can praise your daily accomplishments, such as helping the younger ones, learning to ride a bike, or walking the dog, Sutton advises.
But it is also not worth bringing down a flurry of praise for every sneeze. It is important to strike some balance.
And by the way, about fruit. You can even praise a child for finally eating broccoli. Perhaps then he will even love her.