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Fear of disability
What future parent does not have the anguish of having to take care of a very sick baby or a disabled child? Medical examinations, which are very effective today, already eliminate many complications even if the risk is not zero. It is therefore best, when considering pregnancy, to be aware that this can happen.
Fear of the future
What planet are we going to leave for our child? Will he find work? What if he was on drugs? All women ask themselves many questions about the future of their children. And that’s normal. The contrary would be surprising. Did our ancestors have babies without thinking about the next day? No ! It is the prerogative of any future parent to think about the future and his duty is to give all the keys to his child to face the world as it is.
The fear of losing your freedom, of having to change your way of life
It is certain that a baby is a little being totally dependent. From this point of view, no more carelessness! Many women are afraid of losing their independence, not only from themselves and what they like to do, but also from the dad, with whom they will be linked for life. It is therefore indeed a very great responsibility and a commitment for the future that should not be taken lightly. But nothing prevents reinventing his freedom by including his child. As for addiction, yes it does exist! Affective especially. But in the end, the hardest thing for a mother is to give the keys to her child to take off, to acquire her independence precisely … Having a child is not self-denial of your own way of being. Even if some adjustments are necessary, especially at the beginning, there is nothing that forces you to fundamentally change your lifestyle to welcome your baby. The changes take place little by little, as the baby and the mother come to terms with each other and learn to live together. Regardless, women often continue to work, travel, have fun … while looking after their children and simply integrating them into their lives.
The fear of not getting there
A baby ? You don’t know how “it works”! So obviously, this leap into the unknown scares you. What if you didn’t know how to do it? A baby, we take care of it quite naturally, and help is always available if needed : nursery nurse, pediatrician, even a friend who has already been there.
The fear of reproducing the bad relationship we have with our parents
Children abused or unhappy, others abandoned at birth are often afraid of repeating the mistakes of their parents. However, there is no inheritance in the matter. The two of you are conceiving this baby and you can lean on your partner to overcome your reluctance. It is you who will create your future family, and not the one you knew.
Fear for his couple
Your spouse is no longer the center of your world, how will he react? You are no longer the only woman in his life, how are you going to take it? It is true that the arrival of a baby puts the balance of the couple in question, since it “disappears” in favor of family status. It is up to you and your spouse to maintain it. There is nothing to prevent you, once your baby is there, from continuing to keep the flame alive, even if it sometimes takes a little more effort. The couple is still there, just enriched with the most beautiful gift: the fruit of love.
The fear of not being able to take responsibility because of an illness
Some sick mothers are torn between their desire for motherhood and the fear of making their child endure their illness. Depression, diabetes, disability, whatever ailments they suffer from, they wonder if their child will be happy with them. They are also afraid of the reactions of those around them, but do not feel the right to deny their husbands the right to be a father. Professionals or associations can really help you and answer your doubts.
See our article: Disability and maternity