Let relatives and friends be asking their best to look at the baby, you have every right to refuse. Visits should be postponed.
With the questions “Well, when will you call?” young mothers begin to be besieged even before they are discharged from the hospital. Grandmothers seem to forget how they felt after giving birth, and turn into canon mother-in-law and mother-in-law. But, firstly, in the first month, for medical reasons, the baby does not need contacts with strangers. The baby’s immunity is not yet too developed, it is necessary to give him time to get used to the new environment. Secondly … there is a whole list. We counted at least 9 reasons why you have every right to refuse to receive guests during the first time after giving birth.
1. “I want to help” is just an excuse
Nobody really (well, almost nobody) wants to help you. All that are usually of interest to fans of poses over a newborn is just uchi-ways and mi-mi-mi. But to wash the dishes, help clean up or prepare food to give you a little rest … Only very loving and devoted people are capable of this. The rest will only take selfies over the cradle. And you will have to mess around not only with the baby, but also with the guests: to drink tea, to entertain with conversations.
2. The kid will not behave the way guests want
Smiling, making cute sounds, blowing bubbles – no, he will do all this only at the behest of his own soul. Children in the first weeks generally do nothing but eat, sleep and dirty their diapers. Guests who expect to interact with a baby leave disappointed. Well, what did they want from a man who is five days old?
3. You are constantly breastfeeding
“Where did you go, feed here,” my mother-in-law once told me when she came to visit her newborn granddaughter. Here? With my parents, with my father-in-law? No thanks. Feeding for the first time is a process that requires privacy. It will then become everyday. Besides, like many others, I am shy. I can’t get naked in front of everyone and pretend that my body is just a bottle of milk. And then I still need to change my T-shirt, because the kid burped on this one … No, can I not have any guests yet?
4. Hormones are still raging
Sometimes you want to cry simply because someone looked the wrong way, or said the wrong thing. Or just cry. The hormonal system of a woman experiences several powerful stresses in a year. After giving birth, we return to normal for some time, and some have to fight postpartum depression. The presence of outsiders in such a situation can further exacerbate the emotional turmoil. But, on the other hand, attention and help – real help – can save you.
5. You have not yet recovered physically
To give birth to a child is not to wash the dishes. This process takes a lot of energy, both physical and moral. And it’s good if everything went smoothly. And if the stitches after a cesarean, episiotomy or rupture? There is no time for guests, here you want to carry yourself neatly, like a precious vase of fresh milk.
6. Excessive stress for the hostess
When there is no time and energy for cleaning and cooking, even taking a shower is not always possible when you want, someone’s visits can become a headache. After all, you need to prepare for them, clean up, cook something. It is unlikely, of course, that someone really expects that a young mother’s house will shine, but if you are used to the fact that your apartment is always clean and beautiful, you may feel embarrassed. And deep down, you will be dissatisfied with the guest’s tactlessness – after all, he caught you at a moment when you are not in shape.
7. Unsolicited advice
The older generation is guilty of this – they like to tell how to properly treat children. And experienced friends too. “And here I am …” Stories from the series “You are doing everything wrong, now I will explain to you” – the worst that can happen to a young mother. Here, and so I’m not sure that you really do everything well and correctly, so also advice from all sides is pouring in. Often, by the way, they contradict each other.
8. Silence is sometimes needed
I just want to be alone with myself, with the child, with my happiness, with my new “I”. When you finally feed the child, change clothes, put them to bed, at this moment you will rather want to close your eyes and lie down in silence, and not have small talk with someone.
9. You don’t owe anyone anything
Inviting guests on demand, and even at a convenient time for the guest, in order to look polite and friendly, is not at all a priority task. Your most important schedule now is the one you live with with your child, your most important concern and meaning. Day and night do not matter now, it is only important whether you are sleeping or not. Moreover, today’s regime may differ sharply from yesterday’s and tomorrow’s. It is difficult to carve out a certain time for a meeting here – and is it necessary?