For some reason, people around often express their opinions on very personal topics when they are not asked about it at all.
“God gave a bunny, and he will give a lawn” – a phrase that personally infuriates me indescribably. Whether to give birth to me or not to give birth is a purely personal choice that does not concern anyone. Only me. And to have children, relying on the Russian maybe, I generally consider the greatest irresponsibility. Questions like “Well, when is the second?” I try to ignore it. Otherwise I will say nasty things in response. We have to admit: our society still puts pressure on women, considering the birth of children to be the only purpose of every sexually mature girl.
In general, people react very interestingly to the fact that someone decided not to have children: it shocks many, someone speaks of childfree with disgust, someone regrets. Most are convinced that such women hate children. Of course, they are mistaken. And many do not think for a second that some cannot give birth for medical reasons.
Well, to be honest: should we make excuses for not wanting to give birth? I think not. Twitter even staged a flash mob on this topic and collected the most annoying things that childless women have to listen to.
1. “Seriously? Oh, giving up children is so stupid. Then you will understand, you will regret it. “
2. “Children are the only meaning in the life of a normal woman.”
3. “Do you want to be a crazy cat lady by 40?”
4. “Do you think you’re tired? You don’t know anything about fatigue! “
5. “You’re just selfish. You only think about yourself. “
6. “You just haven’t met that man yet.”
7. “So what are you waiting for? Climax? “
8. “If everyone thought so, you would not have been born!”
“Not wanting children is a diagnosis”
9. “You are depriving yourself of the greatest happiness on earth – being a mom.”
10. “And the clock is ticking.”
11. “Becoming a mother is the destiny of every woman. You can’t argue against nature. “
12. “You’re just kidding. I do not believe. And who will give you a glass of water? “
13. “It must be some kind of psychological trauma for children.”
14. “Why do you need such an apartment if there are only two of you? So much empty space. “
15. “I’m sure you would be a great mother.”
16. “It doesn’t matter from whom, for yourself. I will help you to sit with the children. “
17. “It is now you think that you do not want children, but when they appear, you will think in a completely different way.”
18. “Didn’t walk up, or what? Do not delay too much, then it will be too late. “
19. “Are you not afraid that if you don’t give birth to your husband, he will find the one that gives birth?”
20. “You don’t understand, you didn’t give birth.”
21. “You have no idea what true love is.”
22. “Have you tried going to a psychologist?”
23. “Do you really want to be alone in old age?”
24. “How can one give up happiness of his own free will!”
Maybe we forgot about something? Write in the comments what questions about children annoy you!
Meanwhile
Recently, the millionaire blogger Maria Tarasova – she is Masha Kakdela – made a film about the side of infertility that is not visible to everyone: about the experiences of a couple, about tactless questions, about the impossibility of having children, about sadness and hope – “When are the children?”
“Our mission is to contribute to the development of a happy generation of women. We educate girls in various fields, including health. Therefore, in the film, I talked with the doctor about infertility and health protection. Since I myself have been married for a year and regularly face questions about children, I decided to show what can happen on the other side of the question “When are the children?” And offer both sides of communication an effective solution, ”Maria says about her new project.
The entire episode is already available on Maria’s YouTube channel, and we invite you to watch a small fragment from it.