If you were called into a house where a baby had just appeared, you were given a great honor. Now it’s important not to screw up.
Newborns are gentle creatures. Their mothers – even more so. Therefore, you need to treat them like a glass vase. Of course, it would never occur to you to visit them uninvited, or to bring your own coughing offspring with you. But there are a few more rules that you should strictly follow, even if you are officially invited to the bride.
1. Don’t ask yourself
If you are not invited to meet the baby, do not pressure the young mother. Someone withstands a month from the day of birth, someone needs more time to “go out into the world” again. Once unobtrusively ask when they plan to invite you to visit, and ask again closer to the date. If they do not answer, it means that your visit will definitely not bring joy. We sit in the waiting pose.
2. Don’t be late
Have a conscience. The young mother is already having a hard time: she does not have time for anything, does not get enough sleep, does not eat, and her morning tea is frozen, forgotten on the table. Therefore, the time for guests is probably hard to cut out of the schedule. Breaking this schedule is a terrible sin.
3. Don’t sit too long
Not all mothers can directly say something like: “We can give you twenty minutes, sorry, then there will be no time for you.” Therefore, try to be considerate and not burden the young mother too much with your presence. Unless, of course, she asks you otherwise.
4. Bring food with you
“I’m so sick of cooking myself,” a friend who gave birth four months ago confessed to me in a whisper. By this, she probably expressed the feelings of all young mothers. Therefore, when going on a visit, take at least something for tea with you. Maybe a cake baked with his own hand, maybe a friend’s favorite sandwich, or even more than one. At the same time, feed your mother. Just watch the ingredients: if she is breastfeeding, it imposes some obligations on the part of the diet.
5. Wash your hands and do not touch the child without asking.
Of course, you want to grab and cuddle this sweet baby! But control yourself. Preferably clean. It doesn’t matter that you have washed them ten times already. Mother’s suspiciousness is limitless. If, after a minute, as you took the baby, mom has already begun to look at you plaintively, immediately give her her charm.
6. Invite the mom to sit with the baby while she sleeps or takes a shower.
These are two things that are terribly lacking in the life of a young mother. If she trusts you enough to leave you alone with the baby, you are simply an invaluable person. But if she refuses your offer, don’t insist. Mother’s suspiciousness – well, you remember.
7. Give up treats
If a friend offers you tea / coffee / dance, just refuse. You came to visit to help her, not to become another person to take care of. In the end, you can pour coffee yourself – and at the same time make tea for her. But if she didn’t sleep midnight for you and baked a cake, you simply have to eat it.
8. Do not take children with you
Even if they are healthy. Even if you asked permission and a friend said she didn’t mind. You understand that you will have to look after your children, and not mess with your girlfriend? And you really won’t be able to communicate. And if your six-year-old wants to hold the baby, mom can get hysterical.
9. Don’t give unsolicited advice
Oh, those lovely “You do it all wrong” lines. If you are asked about how you were breastfeeding, what did you do with colic, and whether the child was allergic to the food you ate, answer, of course. But leave comments about your friend eating too many cookies to yourself.