Parents: Why did you create this account?
maviedepapagay: By activism first. We wanted to give hope to other gay couples who want to have children, to tell them “it’s possible! »And change mentalities about gay parenting. I still get homophobic slurs on Twitter, there is still work to be done… Then I did it for my social life. It brings me a lot of exchanges and also provokes meetings, projects.
Your three daughters were born thanks to surrogacy (Surrogacy) in the United States, how did you experience the pregnancies?
The advantage is that neither of us had to suffer the physical inconvenience of a pregnancy (although I did a little brood)! But we were still very tired. The distance between us and Jill, the surrogate mother, the wait for the test results, the exams and then the birth were nerve-racking.
How did you feel when you hugged your daughters for the first time?
It was a moment out of time. We attended both deliveries. For the twins, we each held one in our arms. I looked at Romain, I looked at the babies… I was in total awe, on another planet. I felt an immediate fusion with them. I remained a papa hen …
In video: Pierre’s interview, alias @maviedepapagay
How long time elapsed between your child project and the birth of the twins?
Between the first steps and the birth of the elders, less than two years elapsed. We were lucky, because sometimes it takes longer. We were offered a semi-anonymous donor (the same for the three girls) very quickly. Jill contacted us almost immediately and did not have a miscarriage.
How did you overcome the difficulties?
We talked a lot about what we wanted. It was by meeting families through the ADFH * association that we found leads. We looked for the right agency, we trusted… But it is also a material organization. Between the costs of travel, lawyer, taking charge of a pregnancy, it takes nearly 100 euros. Administratively, all is not settled. We both recognized our daughters. They have identity papers, but are not on our family record book… It’s crazy.
Three children… how do you organize yourself?
For the third, I took parental leave (which ends in October). In the morning, Romain usually takes the older children to school. And I manage the evenings. For the holidays, we love to travel, but in very organized mode, everything is reserved. On a daily basis, we do what we can to remain benevolent even if sometimes we crack, we get angry like everyone else I think… I also have my parents who live next door and who can give us a hand if need. The weekend, it’s a walk, cooking, museums …
How heavy is the view of others on your relationship?
If some people don’t like it, we don’t pick up. With the doctors, the maternal assistant, the nursery, things are going well. We feared the first school year, the reception of teachers, parents … But we received marks of respect.
Do your daughters ask questions about their birth?
No, because we tell them everything. We speak of Jill “the lady who wore them” without embarrassment. We call him from time to time. She has a special status, but the relationship is very strong.
What do they call you?
Dad ! We didn’t want a nickname for either of us, “Papou” or whatever. We value this equality of status. We are both fully their father.
Interview by Katrin Acou-Bouaziz
* Association of homoparental families. https://adfh.net/